12-04-2013, 08:23 PM
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#1
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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Doctor sees an elderly couple.
Tells the man he has severe hearing loss, and his wife has acute angina.
Man says, I know she does! Why do you think I married her??!!
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-04-2013, 08:32 PM
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#2
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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Woman asks pharmacist about Viagra.
Do you carry it? Yes.
Can I get that over the counter? Only if I take two.......
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-04-2013, 09:17 PM
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 188
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Confucius say: A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don't get it.
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'01 S
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12-04-2013, 09:23 PM
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#4
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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Quote:
Originally Posted by l3m
Confucius say: A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don't get it.
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Man who board airplane sideways going to Bangkok.
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-04-2013, 09:34 PM
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#5
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Track rat
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southern ID
Posts: 3,701
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How do you get a heavy metal guitarist off your porch?
Pay for the pizza. 
__________________
2009 Cayman 2.9L PDK (with a few tweaks)
PCA-GPX Chief Driving Instructor-Ret.
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12-04-2013, 09:37 PM
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#6
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Track rat
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southern ID
Posts: 3,701
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What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
__________________
2009 Cayman 2.9L PDK (with a few tweaks)
PCA-GPX Chief Driving Instructor-Ret.
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12-04-2013, 09:38 PM
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#7
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Track rat
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southern ID
Posts: 3,701
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What do you call a guy who likes to hang around talented musicians?
The bass player.
__________________
2009 Cayman 2.9L PDK (with a few tweaks)
PCA-GPX Chief Driving Instructor-Ret.
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12-05-2013, 05:00 AM
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#8
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 188
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timco
Man who board airplane sideways going to Bangkok.
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Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
__________________
'01 S
Last edited by l3m; 12-05-2013 at 05:23 AM.
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12-05-2013, 03:47 AM
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#9
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,111
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Past , Present and Future walk into a bar...it was tense.
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12-05-2013, 05:16 AM
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Miami florida
Posts: 1,591
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Three employees of the Department of Motor vehicle licenses walk into a bar. If you want to hear the punch line, you'll have to wait in line for three hours.
__________________
Current car
2000 Boxster 2.7l red/black
Previous cars
1973 Opel Manta
1969(?) Fiat 850 Convertible
1979 Lancia Beta Coupe
1981 Alfa Romeo GTV 6
1985 Alfa Romeo Graduate
1985 Porsche 944
1989 Porsche 944
1981 Triumph TR7
1989 (?) Alfa Romeo Milano
1993 Saab 9000
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12-05-2013, 05:23 AM
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Paltz, NY 12561
Posts: 935
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An Irishman walks out of a bar...................
AKL
__________________
'02, Arctic Silver/Graphite Gray, 2.7, TIP, 2nd cat delete, Charlie Chan muffler,de-ambered, Braille Battery, clear tailights, painted bumperettes, clear third brake light, M030 sway bars, F shock tower braces, clear rear deck, '03 side vents.  15mm spacers fore & aft.
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12-05-2013, 05:31 AM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: FL
Posts: 4,144
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A lady was having some problems so she goes to the Dr. The Dr examines her and says that she has Tom Jones disease. She says: Tom Jones disease! I never heard of it. Is it common? The Dr Says: "It's not unusual".
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12-05-2013, 07:44 AM
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#13
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2004 Boxster S
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Norway/Spain
Posts: 237
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Whats the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
Most musicians have never been in a Porsche. :ah:
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12-05-2013, 08:40 AM
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#14
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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Difference between a porcupine and a Porsche? On a porcupine the pricks are on the outside.
I take my wife everywhere. Problem is, she keeps finding her way back!
For her birthday, my wife said take me some place I've never been before. I said, OK, how about the kitchen??
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-05-2013, 09:11 AM
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: California
Posts: 1,859
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All the jokes I have are too dirty for this forum.
__________________
Jäger
300K Mile Club
Last edited by Jager; 12-05-2013 at 09:14 AM.
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12-05-2013, 09:08 AM
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#16
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
Posts: 143
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timco
Two scientists walk into a restaurant. First asks for H2O.
Second says, I'll have H2O too.
One lives.
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Awesome!!!
__________________
2002 Boxster S with a few goodies, my 2nd Porsche.
1st was a 1966 912 hand me down from pops
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12-05-2013, 09:15 AM
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#17
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
Posts: 143
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Not a joke so much but a humorous anecdote.
I asked an elderly patient what he did during WWII, during his intake physical.
He answered: Chased P#$$! junior! Funny part was his 60 some year old son was sitting next to him shaking his head.
Gotta love Vets.
__________________
2002 Boxster S with a few goodies, my 2nd Porsche.
1st was a 1966 912 hand me down from pops
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12-05-2013, 10:41 AM
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#18
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 107
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Why are turds tapered?
To keep your a**hole from slamming shut.
7th grade
__________________
2006 Boxster S (987), Lapis blue, blue soft top, detachable hardtop, sand full leather, bi-xeon, 19" Carrera S wheels, 11 spk Bose & windstop, 6-CD changer, heated power seats
Rapid motion through space elates one; so does notoriety; so does the possession of money.
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12-05-2013, 11:06 AM
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#19
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,746
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pierre shags
Why are turds tapered?
To keep your a**hole from slamming shut.
7th grade
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Jokes of that era are still some of the funniest to me.
My then 9 year old son some years back:
"Hey Dad, ya know what you can find in an empty nose?
Fingerprints.............."
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12-05-2013, 11:21 AM
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#20
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Miami florida
Posts: 1,591
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So I pick up a chick at a bar and she says "Kiss me where it stinks", so I take her to Jersey.
__________________
Current car
2000 Boxster 2.7l red/black
Previous cars
1973 Opel Manta
1969(?) Fiat 850 Convertible
1979 Lancia Beta Coupe
1981 Alfa Romeo GTV 6
1985 Alfa Romeo Graduate
1985 Porsche 944
1989 Porsche 944
1981 Triumph TR7
1989 (?) Alfa Romeo Milano
1993 Saab 9000
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Lil Red
2009 Porsche Cayman 2.9L
Jägermobile
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