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Old 11-16-2006, 11:48 AM   #1
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Damn rotisserie chicken

So I am home alone...long day of defending freedom and I decide hey, I want some Kenny Rogers chicken. Well, we know Kenny doesn't exist anymore so I ended up settling for a rotary chick from the grocery store. I ended up eating the whole thing...and wham. Two o'clock in the morning I am a rancid chicken sprayin' sprinkler (the cats loved it by the way). I puke my guts out while laying on the cold bathroom tile all night long. I get up this morning to check out the date on the chicken...two days old. WTF? I called the store and told them and they told me to bring it in. I said I couldn't even stand up...how about you bring me some Ginger Ale or something. Anyway, I am still puking and I keep hearing this voice say "Carol Ann, step away from the light." If you end up seeing the Box on ebay...help out my widow and give it a good price.

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Old 11-16-2006, 11:55 AM   #2
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I was taking a drink out of a bottle of water when I read this and almost spit water all over my computer...

Next time you should consider cooking the chicken before you eat it... Unless of course you are talking about the precooked stuff and if this is the case you're probably one of the few people I've heard of that is brave enough to eat the stuff.

Hope you feel better!!!
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Old 11-16-2006, 11:56 AM   #3
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Rail, sorry to hear that you are not feeling too well!

It is most likely from something you ate 24-48 hours prior to your first onset of sickness. You need to think further back.

But, did the chicken stay nice and warm in your rear trunk? Just remember, your Cherry Garcia goes in the front trunk!
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Old 11-16-2006, 11:58 AM   #4
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could be SAMONELA, SALMONELLA, SAMINELLA? hmm...
if it is in fact that ^
best get thee to a Dotore prontisimo. And don't throw
out the packaging a lab could test it for traces of the samo
and maybe there are others out there they can track down.
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Old 11-16-2006, 12:04 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perfectlap
could be SAMONELA, SALMONELLA, SAMINELLA? hmm...
if it is in fact that ^
best get thee to a Dotore prontisimo. And don't throw
out the packaging a lab could test it for traces of the samo
and maybe there are others out there they can track down.

SALMONELLA is correct spelling. You got it right! Could be and more likely to be an issue with E.coli.
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Old 11-16-2006, 12:19 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rail26
So I am home alone...long day of defending freedom and I decide hey, I want some Kenny Rogers chicken. Well, we know Kenny doesn't exist anymore so I ended up settling for a rotary chick from the grocery store. I ended up eating the whole thing...and wham. Two o'clock in the morning I am a rancid chicken sprayin' sprinkler (the cats loved it by the way). I puke my guts out while laying on the cold bathroom tile all night long. I get up this morning to check out the date on the chicken...two days old. WTF? I called the store and told them and they told me to bring it in. I said I couldn't even stand up...how about you bring me some Ginger Ale or something. Anyway, I am still puking and I keep hearing this voice say "Carol Ann, step away from the light." If you end up seeing the Box on ebay...help out my widow and give it a good price.
Fear not, Ill take care of your wife for you, Hey is there room in your house for a persian cat and my 53 inch tv?
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Old 11-16-2006, 12:33 PM   #7
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You know, before i even clicked on this post, i knew it was writen by Rail26...i just finished reading one of his last posts, and then saw rotisserie chicken, and just knew it was him.

lol

too bad about the chicken, next time try cat. i have this one that sits outside my house everyday waiting for me to come home for the past 5 days...who's god dam cat. my dad's about to drive the cat to another neighbourghhood and leave it there. seeyou cat.
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Old 11-16-2006, 01:21 PM   #8
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As someone who "eats out" 365 days a year I confess that I too have consumed a Grocery Store Deli Rotisserie chicken.

Some observations:

They are generally on the small side and a whole one can be consumed by an amateur with less than Kobayashi-like skills. I think at the chicken farm they take all the small runt-sized ones and mark them for shipment to places like KFC and the grocery deli as they are definitely Grade B birds.

I don't routinely check the expiration date as I assume they're all cooked the "day of" and am horrified to hear they are not. I'll start checking henceforth.

However, I will say that the Rot-chickens are far too accessible to tampering. I've resisted the urge to lift the plastic lid and poke one for "moistness" on more than one occasion. Someone with an agenda (pretty clearly an Al Quaeda operative, in this case) could easily contaminate the chicken with Anthrax or similar. I think salmonella is more likely in the case of your chicken than e. coli. Salmonellae are frequent caught from poultry and raw eggs and more generally from food that has been cooked or frozen, and not eaten straight away. Plus, if someone tried to take an e.coli crap on a Rot-chicken, I like to think a keen-eyed store employee or the consumer would notice.

Don't be afraid to walk into the light, your wife can still communicate with you through your television set, or CJ_Boxster's set, as the case may be.
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Old 11-16-2006, 01:32 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SD987
your wife can still communicate with you through your television set, or CJ_Boxster's set, as the case may be.

My TV set will do fine, it has Picture in Picture so i dont mind if he talks to his wife through the smaller picture in the corner while i watch the Speed Channel... They can use the bigger picture on "Two-Wheeled Tuesdays" on Speed, no one watches that program anyways.
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Old 11-16-2006, 03:47 PM   #10
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never, never I repeat NEVER eat market deli cooked chicken!!

I guess you already know why by now....

go to KFC iffin you have a hankerin for Chicken
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Old 11-16-2006, 03:55 PM   #11
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Wow, the pouring of support has been...inspiring. With offers to take care of my wife and communicate through TVs...you guys are the best. I just woke up and still not feeling like a million bucks...more like $1.95 found in the washer.

Those chickens are so tempting though...so moist and juicy and they smell so good. Never again my Porschefiles....never again. Uh oh, I'm starting to get that rumblin' down under....oh billy.
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Old 11-16-2006, 04:16 PM   #12
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aye, rail...i was about to leave you a get well soon and fast recovery comment but i got caught up contemplating on our new Porschefiles prayer by jeff
of course, if anything serious happen, we are all here for you but I call first dibs on your avatar..hehehehehe! oh yah, if you need bigger tv to commmunicate with us, mine got 4 Picture in Picture screen and 65"...oh no' did i start a "who's got a bigger tv set" thread ......
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Old 11-16-2006, 05:12 PM   #13
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I was plenty pissed when I heard that my friend Rail had gotten sick from rotisserie chicken, so I launched a full-scale investigation into the circumstances surrounding the incident. My guys were able to obtain the video surveillance tapes from the offending supermarket, which showed the very chicken Rail ate. This video was shot roughly one hour before Rail was captured on video tape entering the store. Below is a still photo taken from the video evidence, which shows the actual chicken Rail had for dinner. Now, we are working tirelessly to piece together what went so horribly wrong. I assure you,I will not rest until I have solved this most disturbing mystery!

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Old 11-16-2006, 05:23 PM   #14
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Nice Grizz...I almost had to make another trip to the bathroom with that picture.
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Old 11-16-2006, 05:31 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rail26
Nice Grizz...I almost had to make another trip to the bathroom with that picture.
Ah Ha! So, you do recognize the offending chicken!!!
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Old 11-16-2006, 05:34 PM   #16
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Nice Grizz...I almost had to make another trip to the bathroom with that picture.
________________________________

SD 987 and Grizz are correct. THis was a terrorist incident by unloused chicken and OSama Bin Laden.. Rail26 is now on the warpath. OBL This is the latest photo from El Paso Texas.
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Old 11-17-2006, 08:08 AM   #17
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If it helps.....must be cooked on day of purchase, sold within 4 hours of cook, do not re heat....I say take the store to the cleaners!!
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Old 11-17-2006, 08:19 AM   #18
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occassionaly when I make my rare venture into a fast food eatery (that Popeyes chicken isn't so bad well at least one in Atlanta I chanced into)
I end up paying the Rail26 price. In and out.
My body not having seen red meat since 1992 won't put up with such
McDonalds chicken fajitas and french fry adventures.

two words:

GATOR ADE and aspirin (not advil)

all those bathroom trips deplete the body of minerals and swelling ensues which leads to headaches and queasyness.

and try some pomegranate juice or Brazilian Acai. It cures everything.
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Old 11-17-2006, 08:28 AM   #19
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My body not having seen red meat since 1992 won't put up with such


Wow. A medium-rare Porterhouse, salt-encrusted baked potato with butter and sour cream, and a glass or two of good cabernet makes life worth living.

My wife quit the red meat thing in the early 80's. However, she still likes to smell the steaks and burgers cooking on the grill!
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Old 11-17-2006, 09:18 AM   #20
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I do miss those bbq ribs from the chinese joints but if I showed you a picture of me from 1992 and one from last night you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
wait I'm lying last year for Christmas I was ordered to eat some ravioli stuffed with veal which was prepared by an excellent Neopolitan chef who is a friend of the family. He said "I spent a three days making that, so you going to eat it!".
I said "but you know I haven't eaten red meat in over a decade?"
and he says "THAT'S A NOT A RED MEAT!!"

yeah I ate it all, quiet good and no repercussions. Incidentally he lives on the "Neopoliatn diet" well his version which is daily portions of scaly fish, lots of vegetables, italian red wine and very little if any red meat actually more pork (procsiutto) and veal than beef. he told me his doctor wanted him to write down what he eats everything because he want to duplicate his diet for himself!
p.s.
your wife is smart smart recent research says weekly red meat and more than one serving of alcohol (a day) doubles the likelyhood of a form of breast cancer.
Gotta wonder if there are some parallels as well for men.

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