12-04-2013, 06:36 PM
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#21
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Winnipeg MB
Posts: 2,485
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Alas for little Willy
We'll be seeing him no more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
__________________
'99 black 986
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12-04-2013, 06:43 PM
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#22
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 7,243
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Blind guy walks into Macy's near the escalators in the middle of the store.
He grabs his assist-dog by the tail and swings it around over his head.
The dog is making an awful racket from the pain, and a manager comes up and asks what the blind guy is doing.
He says, "not much. Just taking a look around"
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12-04-2013, 07:14 PM
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#23
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark_T
Alas for little Willy
We'll be seeing him no more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
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There once was this guy from Nantucket.......
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-04-2013, 08:01 PM
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#24
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 317
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Doctor tells his elderly patient, "I have bad news, you have cancer and you have Alzheimer's". The guy replies, "at least I don't have cancer".
__________________
Dave S.
2003 Boxster S
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12-04-2013, 08:18 PM
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#25
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Agoura Hills (LA) So.Cal.
Posts: 1,574
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Man takes his wife to the doctor.
Doctor say he has bad news... his wife either has Alzheimer's or a bad venereal disease.
What should I do ask the man.
Doctor tells him to drop his wife off three blocks from their home. .. . if she comes home don't have sex with her.
__________________
1995 Porsche C4 Cab
2016 BMW M2, 6 Speed LBB - ED 7/2016
1997 993 Cab - Sold; 1997 993 Turbo - Sold
2001 Boxster S - Original Owner - 30K Miles -SOLD
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12-04-2013, 08:23 PM
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#26
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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Doctor sees an elderly couple.
Tells the man he has severe hearing loss, and his wife has acute angina.
Man says, I know she does! Why do you think I married her??!!
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-04-2013, 08:28 PM
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#27
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,810
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Diagnosis: Doctor tells a man he has a terminal illness with 6 months to live.
Prognosis: Doctor tells him to marry a Jewish woman and move to Buffalo - it will be the longest 6 month of his life.
__________________
Don't worry … I've got the microfilm.
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12-04-2013, 08:32 PM
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#28
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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Woman asks pharmacist about Viagra.
Do you carry it? Yes.
Can I get that over the counter? Only if I take two.......
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-04-2013, 09:17 PM
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#29
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 188
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Confucius say: A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don't get it.
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'01 S
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12-04-2013, 09:23 PM
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#30
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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Quote:
Originally Posted by l3m
Confucius say: A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don't get it.
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Man who board airplane sideways going to Bangkok.
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-04-2013, 09:34 PM
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#31
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Track rat
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southern ID
Posts: 3,701
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How do you get a heavy metal guitarist off your porch?
Pay for the pizza. 
__________________
2009 Cayman 2.9L PDK (with a few tweaks)
PCA-GPX Chief Driving Instructor-Ret.
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12-04-2013, 09:37 PM
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#32
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Track rat
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southern ID
Posts: 3,701
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What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
__________________
2009 Cayman 2.9L PDK (with a few tweaks)
PCA-GPX Chief Driving Instructor-Ret.
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12-04-2013, 09:38 PM
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#33
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Track rat
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southern ID
Posts: 3,701
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What do you call a guy who likes to hang around talented musicians?
The bass player.
__________________
2009 Cayman 2.9L PDK (with a few tweaks)
PCA-GPX Chief Driving Instructor-Ret.
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12-04-2013, 09:41 PM
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#34
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Track rat
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southern ID
Posts: 3,701
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How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. He holds up the bulb and the world revolves around him.
__________________
2009 Cayman 2.9L PDK (with a few tweaks)
PCA-GPX Chief Driving Instructor-Ret.
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12-04-2013, 11:03 PM
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#35
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,022
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Ollie & Sven at the beach, trying hard to impress the women. Ollie tells Sven to put a potato in his swim suit. He does so, with no luck.
“No no no, Sven. I meant for you to put it in the front of your suit.”
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12-05-2013, 02:59 AM
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#36
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Melbourne Australia
Posts: 68
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There was a young lady from Kew
Who filled her v*gina with glue
She said with a grin "if they'll pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it too!! "
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12-05-2013, 03:47 AM
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#37
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,111
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Past , Present and Future walk into a bar...it was tense.
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12-05-2013, 05:00 AM
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#38
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 188
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timco
Man who board airplane sideways going to Bangkok.
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Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
__________________
'01 S
Last edited by l3m; 12-05-2013 at 05:23 AM.
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12-05-2013, 05:16 AM
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#39
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Miami florida
Posts: 1,591
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Three employees of the Department of Motor vehicle licenses walk into a bar. If you want to hear the punch line, you'll have to wait in line for three hours.
__________________
Current car
2000 Boxster 2.7l red/black
Previous cars
1973 Opel Manta
1969(?) Fiat 850 Convertible
1979 Lancia Beta Coupe
1981 Alfa Romeo GTV 6
1985 Alfa Romeo Graduate
1985 Porsche 944
1989 Porsche 944
1981 Triumph TR7
1989 (?) Alfa Romeo Milano
1993 Saab 9000
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12-05-2013, 05:23 AM
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#40
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Paltz, NY 12561
Posts: 935
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An Irishman walks out of a bar...................
AKL
__________________
'02, Arctic Silver/Graphite Gray, 2.7, TIP, 2nd cat delete, Charlie Chan muffler,de-ambered, Braille Battery, clear tailights, painted bumperettes, clear third brake light, M030 sway bars, F shock tower braces, clear rear deck, '03 side vents.  15mm spacers fore & aft.
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Dangermobile
Lil Red
2009 Porsche Cayman 2.9L
Linear Mode
