Holy IMS Prevention ! - 986 Forum - The Community for Porsche Boxster & Cayman Owners

Johnny Danger · 08-12-2012, 04:02 PM

For those who can't afford an IMS replacement, or even the Guardian for that matter, behold it's the IMS Indulgence! For just $14.29 ($17.49 if you're a Pentecostal or Adventist), the good folks at this roadside chapel will rebuke the IMS Demon with all manner of prayer in the most apostolic of fashion . Get that IMS Devil behind you !

* The fee also requires a small act of contrition. Unsure of what that involves at this time.

san rensho · 08-12-2012, 05:51 PM

Here in Miami, we Cubans rely on Santeria, a combination of ancient African religions and Catholicism to invoke the Gods protection of our precious IMSB. Its a little more complicated and does involve the ritual sacrifice of a dove but, hey, its a small price to pay for our motors.

St. Michael Protection Ritual - YouTube

Johnny Danger · 08-12-2012, 05:59 PM

Gee, and I thought witnessing someone speaking in tongues was strange !

san rensho · 08-12-2012, 06:23 PM

No stranger than the Catholic Church. If you are Catholic, you have to believe in ritual cannibalism, where the priest turns bread and wine into the actual body and blood of Christ which is then consumed by the communicant, its pretty messed up.

Johnny Danger · 08-12-2012, 06:57 PM

I'm a born again agnostic !!

nnewell · 08-12-2012, 07:41 PM

Hope this helps Johnny.......doesn't say what the speed limit is but I would keep
it under 60 MPH to be polite.

Fort Lauderdale church offers drive-thru prayers - Sun Sentinel

~ Nick

Johnny Danger · 08-13-2012, 04:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nnewell

Hope this helps Johnny.......doesn't say what the speed limit is but I would keep
it under 60 MPH to be polite.

Fort Lauderdale church offers drive-thru prayers - Sun Sentinel

~ Nick

Can one "supersize" his or her redemption ?

recycledsixtie · 08-13-2012, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Danger

Can one "supersize" his or her redemption ?

Yes please - you need all the help u can get!

Bruce Wayne · 08-13-2012, 10:12 AM

it seems we're still in stone age times here in the UK..

IMS prevention is taken care of by appeasing the ancient gods by deflowering a virgin on the altar stone at stonehenge..

as san rensho says it's a small price to pay for our motors.

recycledsixtie · 08-13-2012, 10:58 AM

Not being completely agnostic but with the IMS Guardian installed I will have time to say my Hail Marys before I call the flatbed truck.

Johnny Danger · 08-13-2012, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruce Wayne

it seems we're still in stone age times here in the UK..

IMS prevention is taken care of by appeasing the ancient gods by deflowering a virgin on the altar stone at stonehenge..

as san rensho says it's a small price to pay for our motors.

That's all I needed to know ! I'm switching over my steering wheel and moving to the UK !

Johnny Danger · 08-14-2012, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Danger

For those who can't afford an IMS replacement, or even the Guardian for that matter, behold it's the IMS Indulgence! For just $14.29 ($17.49 if you're a Pentecostal or Adventist), the good folks at this roadside chapel will rebuke the IMS Demon with all manner of prayer in the most apostolic of fashion . Get that IMS Devil behind you !

* The fee also requires a small act of contrition. Unsure of what that involves at this time.

I stop in this evening and experienced a real Holy IMS Explosion ! I never thought that there would be this many people with M96 engine demons !

Old Time Fashion Preaching Pt.1 - YouTube

Allen K. Littlefield · 08-17-2012, 05:05 AM

Isn't that St. Charles IMS church and discount house of oil? Presided over by the right Reb-rend, "Jake"?

With apologies to Don Imus.

AKL