The Porsche Prayer

[jeffsquire]

Originally Posted by unklekraker

first thing tomorrow morning @ work...will print it out
That last one, really sealed the prayer for all of us!
*can't wait to show it to my Pastor

__________________

Look at my original post. I added the shield thing and made some corrections. Ronzi's line is so good that it deserves to be there as well.

Ronzi, you gave me the inspiration.

[vijen6]

AMEN!!

Very nicely written and hillarious.

Now all we need is a few 986forum "models" to kneel infront of his/her car and we have got our very own Porsche prayer poster.

Any volunteers?

[jeffsquire]

Originally Posted by vijen6

AMEN!!

Very nicely written and hillarious.

Now all we need is a few 986forum "models" to kneel infront of his/her car and we have got our very own Porsche prayer poster.

Any volunteers?

_____________________________
I'm likint the ideas here. Maybe a hot model in a priest's rob, you know like Friar Tuck, to keep it humble yet quasi-secular. Or maybe a pastor's collar, hand's clasped.

NOw I've got to work on a NEW TESTAMENT version this weekend.

[unklekraker]

Originally Posted by jeffsquire

_____________________________
I'm likint the ideas here. Maybe a hot model in a priest's rob, you know like Friar Tuck, to keep it humble yet quasi-secular. Or maybe a pastor's collar, hand's clasped.

NOw I've got to work on a NEW TESTAMENT version this weekend.

yap, same here! i like vijen's suggestion. why don't we ask dj if he could create one for us, i know he likes to tinker around computer graphics *here's the hint= maybe a pastor's collar, hand's clasped.[I][U]

oh yah, jeff...NEW TESTAMENT for the younger generation!



*i'm not really sure if we are commiting a sin here

[jeffsquire]

Originally Posted by unklekraker

yap, same here! i like vijen's suggestion. why don't we ask dj if he could create one for us, i know he likes to tinker around computer graphics *here's the hint= maybe a pastor's collar, hand's clasped.[I][U]

oh yah, jeff...NEW TESTAMENT for the younger generation!
*i'm not really sure if we are commiting a sin here

___________________________________

Is vijen capable of this? If so, let's take a look.
Vijen, WHAT DO YOU SAY AND WHAT CAN YOU DO?

SInning? Naaahhhhh!! Sinning would be making a Lamborghini Prayer, since God made perfection.

[vijen6]

Is vijen capable of this? If so, let's take a look.
Vijen, WHAT DO YOU SAY AND WHAT CAN YOU DO?

SInning? Naaahhhhh!! Sinning would be making a Lamborghini Prayer, since God made perfection.
__________________________________________________ ____

Capable of photoshopping? Or modelling?

I do have some photoshop skill, as I work in web design, but as for the modelling .. better find yourself someone else.

All kidding aside though, any good photographer on this forum that can take a nice picture ?

[unklekraker]

of course photoshopping! what were you thinking when you said modelling, you know were too sexy for that...ahahahahaha!

so when are going for a drive, dude? unless you are too busy mod'ing your Boxster, you are excuse

i know a good photographer but not from this forum, a church member! let me know if you want me to contact him and what's for...coo!
__________________________________________________ ____

Capable of photoshopping? Or modelling?

I do have some photoshop skill, as I work in web design, but as for the modelling .. better find yourself someone else.

All kidding aside though, any good photographer on this forum that can take a nice picture ?[/QUOTE]

[jeffsquire]

RandallNeighbor, WHEre are you?!! We're awaiting your diving guidance!!

[CJ_Boxster]

Originally Posted by djomlas

how the hell do u steal litronisc?

You get some tool to firmly grab the edges of the headlight and pull forward very hard, itll snap a peice of plastic off the sliding bracket... I know this cause i turnd my headlight removal tool the wrong way and snapped a peice off but the lamp still came out, I assume thats how it would be done.

[jeffsquire]

The NEW AGE, politcially correct Porsche prayer.

Dear mother earth. We worship you because you begat us and no one and nothing else. We worship your dirt, trees and water for these are the elements of life.

Thank you for my newest Tofu colored Porsche given to me by my companion for the Winterfest. WE’ve just celebrated our 117th Sundial week anniversary. The keys were wrapped right under the Winterfest tree. My companion and I sang Winterfest songs, Drank winterfest egg nog made from organic chickens who were not slaughtered or used for cosmetic purposes, and ate winterfest cake baked in our sun oven.

Mother earth, forgive the streetcorner independent, unlicensed pharmaceutical distrubutors in the urban centers whom I roll up to on weekends in my Porsche, for they haveth no choice, b/c there’s no jobs out there because of that evil man in the Whitehouse. Except protect my independent, unlicensed pharmacuetal distributer who provides necessary temporary relief for these stressful times of unemployment, stockmarket depression, starvation and hate. After all, this is such a horrible country.

Bless my Medical Marijuana faith healer who also drives a porsche. And thank you for letting him provide me with legal prescriptions of Xanax, Nebutal, Vicodin and Oxicondin in full-strength 250mg tabs, 250 count, with 12 refills. I thank you for my healer, especially when my inner city pharmacuetical distributer is incarcarated for “crimes” aginst “society.”

Bless and protect all living things, but also bless my Porsche. Bless the leather seats which give me comfort and look great, and forgive the evil profiteering murderer who killed a cow to procure it. The good thing is I’m sure the leather came from an organic cow raised on natural grass with his own private bathing facilities. After all, the grain in the leather resembles the beangrass I make my tea out of.

Forgive the evil money hungy harmdoers who destroy the greenery of your earth. Forgive the loggers. And thank you for me and my companions new Loghouse.
Forgive the farmers who grow your greenery only to kill and exploit their product to sell at the markets. But thank you for my Pumpkin/Dandelion spice frappachino.

In the future please amalgamate a Prius and a Boxster so I feel better about driving to my Pilates classes. Forgive me for using a plastic cushion during those classes instead of pesticide-free-raised cotton. Plastic is a by-product of oil, and oil is simply evil. Somehow bless the makers of Prius’ even though battery production is caustic, involves child-slave labor, and devastates the enviroment. Your creation, Mother Earth.

Please get rid of all guns, weapons and violence, because they never solved anything except slavery, fascism and communism. However protect my bodyguard and please allow his pistol permit to be renewed for another 3 years like Rosie O’Donnell’s did.

Finally, Mother Earth, as I walk through thy forests on my hemp slippers, forgive all of those who say one thing and do another.

Amen.

[RandallNeighbour]

Originally Posted by jeffsquire

RandallNeighbor, WHEre are you?!! We're awaiting your diving guidance!!

I am here, my son. What doth thou needest now?

[jeffsquire]

Originally Posted by RandallNeighbour

I am here, my son. What doth thou needest now?

__________________________
OK Randall. I've obviously created some controversy here, but you being the man of faith, and considering the season right before Thanksgiving, can you give us an appropriate prayer for the season, our families and our Porsches? Remember, humorous but appropriate.

[Dr. Kill]

Am I the only one bothered by this thread?

[unklekraker]

i guess coz' your the first one who reply to it

what does bother you? by jeff asking publiclyabout prayer or you think it's demeaning to the prayer? just asking...no controversy needed (*flame suit on*)

[Dr. Kill]

Originally Posted by unklekraker

i guess coz' your the first one who reply to it

what does bother you? by jeff asking publiclyabout prayer or you think it's demeaning to the prayer? just asking...no controversy needed (*flame suit on*)

Probably just that whole part about making light of a direct communication channel with God.

[RandallNeighbour]

I think it's kind of silly, but it doesn't bother me. Of course, there's a lot of silly posts on this board that I don't read and no one is forcing members to read this one either.

Jeff, rest assured that I have already offered up a prayer for the members of this forum, your families and safety for our fine German automobiles. Consider that done. The exact prayer, however, need not be typed out here. Some would be offended because I didn't pray to their god or be inclusive enough or whatever. Let's not start a holy war on a nice boxster site like this!

I am thankful beyond words for my friends here. What brought us here was our common love and ownership of a car, but what keeps us here is the friendships we've formed, the banter we exchange and the help we offer one another. Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for this holiday!

Sorry, Jeff. Not funny, but it sure is heartfelt. You people are the best!

[unklekraker]

Originally Posted by Dr. Kill

Probably just that whole part about making light of a direct communication channel with God.

I see

randall, thanks for the prayer and point well taken! now i feel guilty for being part of it...hehehehehe! it's jeff fault not me just kidding

YOU, 986FORUM MEMBERS ARE THE BEST! WE'LL BE GONE FOR THE WHOLE WEEK, TAKING THE WHOLE FAMILY ON SO.CALI TRIP TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS AND DISNEYLAND. MY 7 YEAR OLD SON IS PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT IT AND MY 15 & 19 CAN'T WAIT FOR US TO HIT THE ROAD....I'M GOING TO MISS YOU GUY'S HAVE FUN AND BE SAFE DURING THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY

[jeffsquire]

Originally Posted by RandallNeighbour

I think it's kind of silly, but it doesn't bother me. Of course, there's a lot of silly posts on this board that I don't read and no one is forcing members to read this one either.

Jeff, rest assured that I have already offered up a prayer for the members of this forum, your families and safety for our fine German automobiles. Consider that done. The exact prayer, however, need not be typed out here. Some would be offended because I didn't pray to their god or be inclusive enough or whatever. Let's not start a holy war on a nice boxster site like this!

I am thankful beyond words for my friends here. What brought us here was our common love and ownership of a car, but what keeps us here is the friendships we've formed, the banter we exchange and the help we offer one another. Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for this holiday!

Sorry, Jeff. Not funny, but it sure is heartfelt. You people are the best!

________________________________

Thank you so much, Randall. Maybe this post can rest in peace now since I had you in mind when I started it.

To all of you out there, Happy Thanksgiving.