Speeding Ticket Stories

[NickCats]

My all time favorite :

"A career? I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I don't want to do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I don't really know. I can't figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna hang with your daughter."

[Grizzly]

Originally Posted by NickCats

My all time favorite :

"A career? I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I don't want to do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I don't really know. I can't figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna hang with your daughter."

Yes, from the same actor who brought you this Hollywood classic...

"I flunk English, I'm outta here. I gotta get a job, and you know what that means. That's right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job. But the day I'm supposed to start some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick $300 just for driving a van back from Mexico. When I get out of jail I'm 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down in the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner and why? Because you wouldn't help me with my English homework."

[Uncle Bob]

I wish I could have had a "propina" or 2 along the way. Waaay too many tickets to think about. First one I got I was hauled directly to Palos Verdes City Hall. I was 14. I 'lost' my license before i could get one. From then on, every thicket I got in So Cal included no license. Worst one was on the 405 before it was opened. There was a 6 mile stretch of 5 lanes...just screaming for me to try out a Honda 750 we had just finished souping up......went to jail on that one!!

Best one was from a bear in the air. 95 in a 55 on I-5 in WA. "Let me go" without hauling me off. For once I went to court to see if I could get it reduced. Turned out there had to be 2 affidavits; 1 from trouper on ground...had that.....and 1 from trouper in fixed wing aircraft. That one was missing and the judge asked me if I wanted to have the charges ($350!!) dropped. What a rest trip home that was!

No tickets in Boxster, btw and have just under 12K mi on it. 1 warning, though!!