wicked vibration part 2

[mach schnell]

alright, so box to Walter's this am - my list of complaints:
1. vibration or shimmy through-out car - began about 10 days ago, apparent over 70mph
2. Wind noise from passenger area - sounds like window is down, but isn't. No noise from driver side (this is also new)
3. Side marker on passenger side keeps popping loose - quick fix with ductape - according to Car gods this is only acceptable for pinto's and saturns!!!

well, after they've had the car for about 6 hours, I finally get a call - "we've driven three times and can't find a vibration or any wind noise - can you come down and take the car out with the technician?" so i wrap up what i'm doing and head out to the dealership.

naturally, when i get there i have a few questions:
1. is the technician going to ride on my lap while i drive?
2. does the technician own a porsche -cuz if he's driving a ************************ riced out 3-tone, 4-door honda civic then i doubt he'd have an ************************ clue what a porsche should drive like!
3. is the tech hispanic - since every hispanic in socal has decided not too work today - maybe he's pissed that he's actually at work!
4. occam's razor - did they rule out (sorry, the doctor in me) a tire balance issue.

so, out we go - me and the technician (who by the way, had no clue when i handed him my key to turn on the airbag - since he was the passenger) - first clue that he was f$%#wad! as we're driving - windows up - noise coming from passenger side -
i ask, "do you hear all that wind noise?"
tech - "its from your convertible top"
me -"why no wind noise on driver side - wind only blows on the right side of the car"
tech - silence

we hit 70+ and i feel the shimmy through the wheel
me, " there's the vibration"
tech " that's the road"
me " i know what the road feels like - this is different"
tech "its porsche - stiff suspension"
me "i've driven other porsches - no vibration! and if this is normal for porsche, how come mine didn't have this normal vibration when i bought it, cuz in that case, i feel jipped out of a few months of normal porsche vibration!"
tech - silence
tech - "is this your first porsche!"
me "uh, it's my first car, i don't even know how to drive!"
me "did you check the tires for balance problems"
tech "NO - WE CAN'T CHECK TIRES FOR BALANCE UNLESS WE FEEL THE PROBLEM"
SIDE NOTE: THANK GOD I CAN'T TELL A PATIENT WITH CHEST PAIN THAT I CAN'T RUN TESTS UNLESS I SEE THE CHEST PAIN!

as you can see - didn't get anywhere! so had service mgr take it out, as they were going to send me on my way. he comes back...
svc mgr. "so you feel a vibration?"
me" yes, started 10 days ago - not there on way to phoenix, there on way back - there when i drove car with your genius tech! there is something not right and since i didn't buy this car to granny around town in, and it doesnt feel stable even at 70 in a straight line, i'll keep coming back until you actually do something"
svc mgr" we could balance the tires"
me, "duh, huh that can be done?! that sounds like a great place to start!"

god, about right now, that honda s2000 or nissan 350z or infiniti g35 coupe or even the f-ink c230 i'm driving right now look better than my porsche!

tomorrow - part three...