You need to raise the car until you can get an acceptable setting for the rear toe. I'm not trying to be an azz, but as Topless said, its kind of a ying and yang thing; the settings are inter-related and changing one setting will affect the others.
Thus, its difficult, if not impossible, to tell you what ride height will yield an acceptable toe setting.
It doesn't matter how much travel or suspension performance you'll be losing - the tech will set up the alignment to work the best within the geometry constraints of the components you have. You'll get what you get. If you want more or better, you'll have to buy adj rear toe arms and/or other new components that will allow greater range of adjustability.
At this point, take it to the alignment shop and hopefully the guy can make it work. Otherwise, pay the $120 and have him set the ride height that works the best.