slow down, you're asking a lot of questions here... and just to confirm, I presume you do not have litronics - just regular halogens for the lows?
First off, on my '99 at least, the low beams will only come on when the car is running (not just in the on position). Even if the switch is pulled to on, only the 'city' lights will illuminate (it's 5W bulb IIRC in the low beam reflector) w/ the rest of the parking lights (both front & rear). Likewise for the fogs
Same holds true for the high beams - they will only illuminate via pushing the stalk forward when the car is running. The flash, pulling the stalk towards you, works regardless of ignition position.
So... first step to solving the problem is start the car and check them all again. Post back w/ results and we can further isolate if there is an issue w/ a few simple swaps (starting w/ the fuses and then w/ the bulbs themselves since all three - fogs, lows and highs use H7 55W bulbs) and also checking to make sure the plug on the light housing seats correctly.
Let us know what you find
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