Why are 1st and 2nd gears so harsh - please help

[aBsOlUt]

I've been driving a triple black 2004 BoxsterS for 2 years now and I love every piece of this car.

However, gear changing and the gearbox itself has been a pain in the @ss. It is very hard to describe what actually happens and I've asked different dealers many times to check the clutch because the gear changes are too harsh. Both dealers have reported no problems with the car so sometimes I think its me....

I will give it a shot and try to explain what happens. Support you fire up the car and its still cold. You start driving normally without pushing it. I put first gear and off I go. I never change gears above 4k until the car goes to normal temperature so usually I would go until 2.5-3k before I shift to second. If I depress the pedal about 8/10 times I hear a loudy metal clunky noise coming from the back and I can also feel it - its like the car disengaged the 1st gear pretty harsh and not very smooth. It gives me a feeling of being scared of when and how fast to press the clutch pedal because then the sound does not happen. I shift to 2nd and let the clutch pedal go and the car would kinda bounce harsh like you are about to stall. Ok maybe not that bad but still NOT smooth, I shouldnt have to feel it at all like in most cars I've driven....

8 months ago I asked the dealer to tear the car down and replace the clutch. They said its not that bad but they can replaced it for only the charge of the clutch (200$) and they also replaced the release bearing etc. Still that did not fix the gear engage/disengage problem, the shifting is very harsh.

I've been driving for two years with this "fear" of switching gears. I do not think its the weather temps because it happens at both hot or cold temps. I also dont think its my driving skills either. I am driving my brothers 8 year old Audi TT and the gears are EXTREMELY smooth.

I need part names that could be responsbile or any part that is involved in gear switching so I can ask the dealer to check them and perhaps identify the problem. Showing up at the dealer telling them to check the clutch because gear switching is too harsh does not solve anything as they say all looks good.

Higher gears from 3rd to 6th are very smooth....

Help!

p.s My last post mentioned me switching to an Audi S5. This was cancelled as I love the Boxster too much, but I did test drive the S5 and the gear shifting was incredibly smooth.