Acknowledging right up front we're hovering dangerously close to flogging-a-dead-horse territory, try this one on for size, starting at right around 0:38.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrH92W6ODy4
Mission completed in slightly over 30 seconds, no video speed-up required. Sure there's sharp edges involved, but we're all big boys (& girls) here—I think we can avoid serious injury. (The first guy did recommend leather gloves, admittedly probably not a bad idea. But we've all got them too!)
The snips seem to work, reasonably quickly, and bottom line (for many of us I suspect): there's quite a few other tools that I'd rather add to my arsenal (some recommended by you JFP!), each of which—to me—represents a better investment than a $50 can opener. If I needed to open an oil filter more than once or twice a year I might very well re-think this.