Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeMcMo
2017 was a prime example of an odd year.
When a watch battery dies it records the time of it’s own death.
Finally is pronounced « final-e » but Finale is pronounced « fin-ally ».
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(from Showerthoughts) |
That's a pretty cool website, one I hadn't come across before. Found a few more gems that are (IMO) worthy of sharing:
Children are expensive orgasms.
If the people in Star Wars had the force why didn’t they just turn off their opponents lightsaber
You could make a fortune selling “No Soliciting” signs door to door
If you’re over 18 but under 21 and are arrested for drinking alcohol, you can be charged as an adult for being under aged.
If voodoo dolls were real if you sat on a voodoo doll of yourself would you ever be able to get up?
What if you could just record silence and then play it on loudspeakers on full blast to make the whole room quiet.
If a beer company named their beer “Responsibly,” all other beer companies would automatically be advertising their product for them.
If the Earth were flat cats would have pushed everything off it by now.
When the first human is born on Mars we will have to add ‘Planet of Origin’ to our passports.
Zoos are elaborate prisons for animals that aren’t delicious.
What’s the point of storm troopers wearing armor if they die after taking one shot anyways?
The first group of people that head to another star on a spaceship will probably get passed by a ship that leaves 100 years later, with better technology
Nothing like the sight of a urinal to let you know you’re in the right bathroom.
There’s a petition to have The Last Jedi stricken from the Star Wars canon. You’d think Star Wars fans would realize that if you strike something down it will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
The 1-star reviews on “Home Defibrillators” are probably very sad.
Pizza is a real-time pie chart of how much pizza is left
Nothing gets a person out of bed faster than the sound of a dog vomiting.
It would suck if you were bisexual and the man of your dreams married the woman of your dreams.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
Luke Skywalker joined the Rebellion because he saw a 10 second video and thought his sister was hot.
Pollen is essentially plant sperm, which makes Hay Fever an STD. Since no one is
voluntarily taking in the pollen, we’re basically being raped by trees.