The only way for a remote to be programmed to a car is for the dealer to do it, and you must have the serial number code for the key. There is no other way involving turning on, of, closing doors, doing rain dance etc, it has to be done via the programming computer, and they need to have the code that goes with that remote.
If you buy a used remote, it should have a tag on it with the necessary numbers like shown below. In the 3 weeks since I got my car, I have looked everywhere to find out about this since my existing remote no longer works with the car for some reason.
[IMG]http://www.****************************************************.com/mm5/graphics/00000001/REMOTECONTROL8.jpg[/IMG]
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