For those who have ever had a Brit car - 986 Forum - The Community for Porsche Boxster & Cayman Owners

san rensho · 09-24-2012, 02:38 PM

Probably posted before, but here you go.

Don't forget to go to the Lucas link at the bottom.

Do it by the book - the real meaning of Haynes instructions

Bryan topping · 09-24-2012, 05:49 PM

Hilarious!!!

Mark_T · 09-25-2012, 06:48 PM

Many a true word is spoken in jest! Thanks SR!

"BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit." - I'll personaly vouch for this one.

thstone · 09-26-2012, 08:09 PM

Hah! I owned a Triunph Spitfire and then, if that wasn't enough pain and agony, I sold it and bought a Triumph TR-6!

Topless · 09-26-2012, 08:51 PM

That's great! I think they forgot one though:

Haynes: No longer leaks oil all over the garage floor.
Translation: It's empty.

Gary_d · 09-27-2012, 03:28 AM

Excellent! I need to print a copy of this for my garage wall. I've always specialized in British cars and motorcycles, and I have a drawer of hammers and vise grips to prove it.

One additional rule: If it doesn't fit, don't force it. Use a bigger hammer.

san rensho · 09-27-2012, 06:12 AM

My favorite was the Lucas replacement wiring harness smoke and of course all the Lucas jokes.

Bob O · 10-01-2012, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thstone

Hah! I owned a Triunph Spitfire and then, if that wasn't enough pain and agony, I sold it and bought a Triumph TR-6!

I learned a LOT from my Spitfire...including most of the procedures listed, and how to pack a carry-along tool box so it wasn't heavier than the engine. I was totally unaware of the smoke replacement kit though. dang. If it had been available in1970 I might still have that little green beast.

I sold mine to by a....Beetle!

Somewhere in the archives of my library is an early version of that Haynes manual...complete with grease marks, oil stains, blood, water stains from the leaky top and a few tears!