HELP! Can't unlock car after accident

[trilobite]

I had my 99 sitting on the street and a neighbor across the street backed out of her driveway directly into the rear side of the driver's side of it. I was inside, heard the crunch followed immediately by the distinctive, rather anemic alarm of my car, and ran outside.

There was slight scuffing on the body panels, and a gouge was taken out of my rim. I grabbed the key FOB and tried to turn off the alarm. This did not work. I tried to unlock the car to get into it... this did not work. I tried unlocking the door manually... this did not work. Now mind you, the car was inspected the week prior and I was in and out of it with no issues the day of the collision.

Now my car is bricked, sitting at the Porsche dealership, where the service advisor just informed me that they have still not been able to get into the car (it's been two weeks, going on three at this point), and have even resorted to using a slim jim, which still failed. To add insult to injury, the woman's insurance company is arguing that there is no way that the collision is responsible for these problems. (Some coincidence!)

My question is twofold. First, does anyone have any suggestions for how to get into the car, and second, what the actual **** happened to my car.