Odd electrical issue
 

So yesterday I go to the parking lot and hop in my car and turn the key and nothing happens. Nothing at all. I notice I have no power.

I open the frunk and take the battery cover off just to see if there is anything worth noting, which there wasn't. I closed the hood, and as soon as it dropped closed, the car started chiming and the radio came on. So I hopped back in, turned the key, and instead of starting, all the power shut off again.

I once more opened the hood to make sure there wasn't a loose connection to the terminals. (There was not.) I closed the hood again. As soon as the hood dropped shut, everything came back on. Once more, I jumped in and turned the key. Nothing.

I once more opened the battery compartment, and out of frustration, I smacked the top of the battery with my hand pretty solidly and everything turned back on. I got in, it started right up and I have had no issues since yesterday afternoon.

Is this likely to be a harness issue, or did I simply need to reassert my dominance?

If you can get everything to work simply by hitting the battery and if all of the battery connections are tight, I would assume it is a battery issue.

I would double check your cable connections with a wrench. Mine will short out if the ground isn't really snug on the terminal.

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Remove , clean and reattach your battery clamps. Check, clean and tighten the positive cable where it attaches to the frame of the car.

Thanks, guys! I'll try taking it out, cleaning everything, and reattaching everything wrench-tight.