12-04-2013, 05:38 PM
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#1
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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A sodium atom is shopping in a store. A Chlorine atom walks up and starts hitting it, then grabs it and won't let go.
The chlorine atom is arrested for committing assault.
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-04-2013, 05:55 PM
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#2
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,810
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An attractive airline stewardess asks a male passenger if he would like some TWA coffee, and the man responds by saying no, but I'd like some TWA 't".
__________________
Don't worry … I've got the microfilm.
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12-04-2013, 06:42 PM
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#3
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Damn Yankee
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Dallas
Posts: 1,117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Danger
An attractive airline stewardess asks a male passenger if he would like some TWA coffee, and the man responds by saying no, but I'd like some TWA 't".
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Lemme guess............you went to Parochial school, right? 
TO
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12-04-2013, 06:46 PM
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#4
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,810
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeamOxford
Lemme guess............you went to Parochial school, right?
TO |
no, pyrotechnical school.
__________________
Don't worry … I've got the microfilm.
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12-04-2013, 06:51 PM
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#5
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,810
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Why are hamburgers so smart ? Because they went to "cow-lege".
__________________
Don't worry … I've got the microfilm.
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12-04-2013, 07:01 PM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,810
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What do you call George Washington’s false teeth? Presidentures.
__________________
Don't worry … I've got the microfilm.
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12-05-2013, 03:59 AM
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Melbourne Australia
Posts: 68
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There was a young lady from Kew
Who filled her v*gina with glue
She said with a grin "if they'll pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it too!! "
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12-04-2013, 07:05 PM
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#8
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I am my own mechanic....
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,432
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Danger
Why are hamburgers so smart ? Because they went to "cow-lege".
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Just for that........
Guy goes to the dentist. Has a problem with his upper plate.
Dentist asks what he's been eating?? Says he loves eggs Benedict. Eats it every day.
Dentist says oh, I see the problem. You need a chrome upper plate!
Guy says why??
Dentist says...........(wait for it).............
There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise........
__________________
'04 Boxster S 50 Jahre 550 Spyder Anniversary Special Edition, 851 of 1953, 6-sp, IMS/RMS, GT Metallic silver, cocoa brown leather SOLD to member Broken Linkage.
'08 VW Touareg T-3 wife's car
'13 F150 Super Crew long bed 4x4 w/ Ego Boost
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12-04-2013, 07:15 PM
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#9
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,810
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Take this !
Why couldn't the Polack call 911?
He couldn't find the 11 on the phone!
__________________
Don't worry … I've got the microfilm.
Last edited by Johnny Danger; 12-04-2013 at 08:12 PM.
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12-04-2013, 07:25 PM
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Miramar, FL
Posts: 163
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Post a joke
Jim runs into an old friend, Bob, who he hasn't seen in a while and asks how he's been. Bob replies "Not so good. The other day I went home early from work with a splitting headache and found my wife with another". Jim replies in shock "You're kidding, you found her with another man?". Bob says "No, with another headache!". They laugh at Bob's joke and Jim says "I'm going to have to use that on someone". The next day Jim runs into another old friend, Kurt, who asks Jim how he's been. Jim replies "Not so good. The other day I went home early from work with a splitting headache and found my wife with another". Kurt replies "Well, Jim, I knew that was going on but I didn't have the heart to tell you".
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