What are your age and profession?

[Need_for_speed]

I'm kind of a private person, so I've been avoiding this thread, but....very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon. Luge lessons. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.

At the age of 58, I bought my first Boxster. And, well, here I am.

[njbray]

Originally Posted by Need_for_speed

I'm kind of a private person, so I've been avoiding this thread, but....very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon. Luge lessons. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.

At the age of 58, I bought my first Boxster. And, well, here I am.

Oh my God! You must be my long lost older Brother! That is EXACTLY the same as my upbringing!

Soooo.... any idea what happened to Vilma?

[paulofto]

Originally Posted by Need_for_speed

I'm kind of a private person, so I've been avoiding this thread, but....very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon. Luge lessons. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.

At the age of 58, I bought my first Boxster. And, well, here I am.

OK Dr. Evil, we now know where you have been hiding since the last Austin Powers movie. Now Shhhhh, Zip It, I wanna tell you a little story bout a man name SHHHHH! WWW.Zipit.com.

[Xpit77]

Originally Posted by Need_for_speed

I'm kind of a private person, so I've been avoiding this thread, but....very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon. Luge lessons. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.

At the age of 58, I bought my first Boxster. And, well, here I am.

[Need_for_speed]

Originally Posted by Xpit77

In reality, nothing in that story is true expect for the part about Vilma the Zoroastrian.

Retired USAF (B-52 navigator, B-1B WSO). Great to see all the military folks here on the forum!