yeah I am going to be checking the spark and injectors when I get home. Most likely it is something that is disabling all the cylinders otherwise it'd be running and I'd get misfire codes.
Nightly update: Checked injectors and they are getting a timing signal so that's one more part that is working! I'll swap the ignition switch tomorrow, and if that's not it, then it'll be on to the crank sensors.
One guy suggested doing a compression test of the cylinders. Is there anyway that there could be gasket/valve/piston ring issues that would cause all of this? I had no smoke and my coolant and oil are both pretty clean.