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Originally Posted by ohioboxster
I appreciate all the opinions and took them to heart. I went to Autozone and bought a bottle of Rice Be Gone. I was in a hurry and didnt read the directions because of the several projets going on at the time, you know making a big wing out of 2x4's, neon under the car and the dragon graphic for the hood. Anyway, in my rush I didnt realize I was supposed to wear gloves and some spilled on my hands. Next thing you know not only did my ricer boost gauge disappear so did my personality. Slowly through out the day I was transformed in to a grumpy old man that thought he knew everything. It was bad, I yelled at those damn kids in the neighborhood with thier loud music. One kids ball even rolled into my damn driveway, little brat! My wife realized what was happening and sprayed me with Ass Be Gone now Im back to normal. Moral of the story, if you have an extra $2.99 burning a hole in your pocket give it a try.
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Hi,
Always willing to learn from others, I took your suggestion and got a bottle of
Ass Be Gone. I applied it exactly according to the directions and nothing happened, nothing at all.
So, I called the HelpLine number on the bottle
(800) Ass Gone (800-277-4663) and told them of my problem with their product. I was referred to the Customer Service Mgr., a Mr. A.S. Finkter.
Mr. Finkter told me that in Clinical Trials held at Duke University, they discovered that if a person wasn't suffering from the symptoms you describe of Ass-like behavior, that it would have absolutely no effect whatever, but that it was not in anyway harmful.
He further went on to say that these Clinical Studies revealed that the product's greatest efficacy came when used on subjects who were the offspring of not too distantly related parents, and especially those with a particular fondness for the grain from the genus
Oryza Sativa. He speculated that since the product had such a positive effect on you, that you most likely belong to both of these groups.
He cautioned however, that subjects suffering the effects to the degree you had were particularly vulnerable to severe relapses if a statement they were to make were opposed, or disagreed with, even in the slightest. That these subjects only made statements, or in your case, postings on an Internet Forum, in order to gain the total affirmation and adoration of the Target Audience. Further, that if such was not received, the subject could lapse so far as to be thereafter untreatable and suffer
chronic symptoms of Ass-like behavior for the rest of their life.
He gladly agreed to refund my $2.99 and further said that as you apparently suffer so severly from this terribly impairing behavioral trait, he'll be sending you a coupon good for one free bottle of
Ass Be Gone to see if they can't eradicate these symptoms you're having once and for all. Thank God!
What an awakening for me, I don't mind telling you! Personally, I had
no idea you suffered so severely from such an impairment, it must be awful for you and your family.
I certainly don't want to be the cause of you're developing a chronic case, so I take back everything I said, or inferred, about your Boost Gauge install being stupid, useless, idiotic and merely your interpretation of the
Peacock Effect.
Please believe me, OH, when I say that I had no idea that your thread was really a cry for help! Best of Luck on your recovery!...
Happy Motoring!... Jim'99