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the guy who sells all the tires at our local track comes from the kart world and is a quick driver. he can put down some serious times in his HONDA FIT with slicks (uses it to haul tires to the track rats).
anyway, i got him to drive my car while i sat in the pssgr seat. like you, i used to try and find the limit by slowly going faster and faster until i would suddenly hit the limit - oversteer - in a corner. it would come as a surprise and i wouldn't be expecting it, my response would be delayed (and unpracticed) and typically end in something gruesome followed by hesitant laps for the rest of the session.
what i learned from sitting with him - driving the car for the first time - is that he would actively seek to find and exceed the limit - he was in a continuous state of oversteer correction. i realised that if you drive like that - consciously crossing the 'line' instead of tentatively creeping up to it and not knowing quite where it is - then the oversteer is not a surprise - you are expecting it/seeking it - and you respond to it more positively and get more practice and comfort with it at speed.
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