I was recently accused of being a forum bully for posting "Where the heck is KRAM.." followed by what I considered an exaggeration of what I considered KRAM like posts.
KRAM was a notable character on the forum and has disappeared. For the record I liked KRAM and supported him with pictures (because he was after all technically correct from a certain perspective) in the great ridge rotor wire debate, though I wished I hadn't in the wreckage of the follow on.
According to one opinion,
"
my understanding of bullying is this:
- having an opinion is not bullying (however right or wrong or foolish it may be)
- defending that opinion is not bullying
- defending yourself when personally attacked is not bullying.
however,
- ridiculing someone is bullying
- personally attacking someone is bullying
- ganging up on someone is bullying
- using your perceived strength or authority to intimidate is bullying (in this case the perception that a higher post count somehow makes a person's opinion be more valid).
having watched many of the threads in question, i'd say kram or johnathan are not the bullies, but bullying has certainly occured."
I find this too broad a brush - ridiculing someone is bullying? I've been ridiculed on the forum for rebuilding an engine ("nobody would want an amateur shade tree mechanic rebuilt M96" or some such tripe) and for inventing my own IMSB fix. I recognized those people had opinions and attitudes and moved on to better company. But I wasn't bullied.
personally attacking someone is bullying? Really? If that person is displaying asshattedness in the forum slamming others or bragging over their perceived attributes? Or that person who responds to a simple request to restrain their comments by instantly going on a full out offensive?
Ganging up - So perceived bad behavior is to be ignored by all? No comments? One of two things happen, the moderator would be overwhelmed from everyone with nits on "Johnny said this and I'm offended!" or a bad actor would have free reign. "Ganging up" is the communities way of communicating and regulating typical social behavioral norms.
Perceived strength - I don't know what that is. I have no clue on how to figure out who has what standing. I certainly have none. Taken literally anyone with a high post count had better be cheerful and polite all the time or they are a bully (We're looking at you Timco)
My sense of bullying is much more narrow than the above
Overly Aggressive posts with minor or no provocation
In this narrower definition JL was trying to bully right out of the box (read some of his first posts), and unsurprisingly ran straight into a buzz saw.
Continual abuse of someone for a perceived or real gaff i.e. chasing someone around and bringing it up constantly.
My personal view is that the great rotor wire debate unfortunately devolved into that.
Responding in kind, or an occasional reference depicting a caricature of someone's posts in a humorous light is not bullying. Pointing out bad behavior such as providing incorrect technical information or trying to bait the forum isn't bullying. Doing that actually allows someone the opportunity to modify their behavior. Getting a free car comes to mind...
What are your thoughts?