[jb92563]

The thing that stands out from your symptoms is that you have oil in your coolant but NOT coolant in your oil.

To me this indicates that where the leak is taking place is where the oil pressure is greater than coolant pressure.

Its a tough guess but head gasket perhaps, although there are the other locations that thstone mentioned as well.

Does not sound like the D-Chunk cylinder failure but it does unfortunately sound like something you need to address before continuing to drive it.

Flashing Engine light means the engine needs to be shutdown ASAP to avoid serious damage.

Having air pockets in your coolant system could also cause strange temperature readings and perhaps the engine light is triggering from that.

Sorry to hear about your wife, been there with close family and relatives far too often, my compassion goes out to you.