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Wow. I would be irate if the shop told me that.
I wouldn't take my beef with them since they bought the lights and since they already paid, its now up to insurance.
Just wait calmly for insurance to call back and if they say something you don't like, then talk to a higher-up. Always seems to work for me with insurance situations.
I would say you have some bargaining chips: why did the shop take it upon themselves to buy 'many different lights'? The shop also took a long time to do the repair and this has been quite a frustrating experience all around etc, etc.
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