HELP! My 97' 986 is POSSESSED!!!!!

[WeTodded]

Ok, I'm new here but have been visiting for some time now. I have a 97' 986 that is really for real, possessed. As I'm driving down the road, both windows will roll down by themselves and the door locks make the lock and unlock sound by themselves. The remote has never worked since I bought the car and I have only used the key to open and close. Now the car's windows roll down overnight. I wake up in the morning and they are rolled down and the car is unlocked. I have absolutely no idea where to start. My Bentley service manual doesn't cover exorcism. Can somebody direct me as to how I can fix this? I can't afford to go to the dealer. The nearest Catholic Church shut the front door on me and told me not to come back. Please help me with this very annoying problem. Thanks in advance.

[particlewave]

Research ignition switch issues...could be that simple.
The key transmitter is probably unrelated and just needs replaced.

[WeTodded]

Originally Posted by particlewave

Research ignition switch issues...could be that simple.
The key transmitter is probably unrelated and just needs replaced.

Thanks. I will try that. Don't know what to do, but I'm sure my trusty bently exorcism book will help. Lol

[particlewave]

If you run a search on this forum, you will see that a bad ignition switch can cause all kinds of crazy issues like you're describing. It's not the easiest to swap out, but not the worst either.

For the key, you will probably have to buy a new transmitter with 25 digit security code and have it reprogrammed at the dealer. Can run anywhere between $250 and $500 for the reprogramming alone

[WeTodded]

$250 to $500? Anybody want to buy a car? LMAO

[ilikeching]

I would checked wires too, cause of problem may be cracked/meltet together..... as they live on their own world...
I had some similar problem before, window went up and down, but not as dramatic as your situation.
It took me several months before i found the trouble, cables was the last thing i checked.. Did some cleaning and wiring protectant, and all works out great..
pics from door wiring:

[ilikeching]

Or it might be the central unit under the driver seat?

[WeTodded]

Thanks guys. I will check that all out.

[woodsman]

Is your car from Idaho or Utah? Do you see any evidence it's been in a flood?

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by ilikeching

Or it might be the central unit under the driver seat?

That's what I was thinking. Is the drivers side floor wet? or has it recently been wet? When did this problem begin?