i thought we had an agreement with the pigeons! - 986 Forum - The Community for Porsche Boxster & Cayman Owners

mach schnell · 04-26-2006, 10:23 PM

so i turn left onto this 4 lane one-way street and at first I'm just putzing it in first gear, but then, upon drinking in the fact that i've got wide-open pavement, seduced by the sun blazing down on me and the wind (my god the wind - it was the palm desert!) screaming over my shaved head, i just let it rip open and started tearing through the gears, dancing with the redline.

well, at about the same time as i'm doing all this, a couple of chump pigeons, for whatever reason, get the urge to stop hanging out on the little park bench about 100 yards up from me and decide to take flight in a perpendicular path to my oncoming rocket. apparently, they didn't get a good enough glimpse of the porsche crest on my advancing car (their eyes must not be as good as eagle's) and maybe pigeons don't hear too well, cuz they certainly didn't distinguish the frenzied roar coming from my exhaust (what, pigeons don't understand the doppler effect!) because one of them clearly underestimated the 987's ability to go from "la la la" to "holy sh%^!" in a moment's notice and failed to achieve appropriate vertical clearance.

i hit the sucker

(first bird i've ever had such an intimate encounter with) right on my driver head light and flip, flap, flop, :chicken: the damn thing goes tumblin'. of course, my concern at that point is both - crap, my car! quickly followed by, i hope that ************************ thing doesn't land in my car!

it turns out that this rat with wings must have been commissioned by god to sacrifice for me, cuz in wacking it i immediately decelerated, which turned out to be a very good thing since tj hooker (or maybe it was adrian zmed) was sitting in an alley poised to ruin such a beautiful piece of thunderous acceleration!

yeah, and since i'm not an animal doc - no legal obligation to stop and administer avian cpr!

blinkwatt · 04-26-2006, 10:30 PM

Good story. Did you headlight crack at all?

mach schnell · 04-26-2006, 10:41 PM

no traumatic injury to the box. had their been damage, then i would have gone a little crazy - like that female dentist who ran her husband over 3 or 4 times in a parking lot - and i would have enacted ultimate revenge on the pigeon.

limoncello · 04-27-2006, 03:44 AM

If you do stop to administer CPR, use latex gloves and a trachio tube - don't want avian flu, you know. Just a thought.
Good story. A little high quality plastic cleaner on the headlights, and all is well.

70Sixter · 04-27-2006, 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by limoncello

If you do stop to administer CPR, use latex gloves and a trachio tube - don't want avian flu, you know.

Don't worry, they say avian rats/pigeons are not vulnerable. I'd use a high pressure
air gun with a parts cleaning tip, personally. Just in case. Watch out for the blow thru!

SD987 · 04-27-2006, 09:38 AM

Mach, have you ever thought about or actually played the "I'm a physician on the way to a medical emergency" - card when pulled over by the cops? If so, how did it go?

I'll assume that most of the board members have seen the pics of the pheasant and the 987 that collided, as they were circulating last year. If you haven't, they can be viewed here and seem to match the theme of the post.

http://www.lsrpca.com/misc_web_stuff/Pheasant/hunting%20porsche.html

(amusingly, the jackass who made a web page dedicated to them knows a bit about Porsches but doesn't know a 911 from a Boxster.)

mach schnell · 04-27-2006, 11:41 AM

sd- i haven't used the "doc on way to emergency" line in a pulled over situation - had a friend who used a couple of years ago flying down the 10 in his 330 ci - had his white coat and hospital badge in the seat next to him. he was actually on his way into the hospital, but at the time was whipping through traffic with another bimmer - it worked that time for him!