Wasn't expecting so many thoughtful replies so quickly. You guys are ultimately the reason why I decided to buy a 986 in the first place, because I believed it when I heard there was a supportive community; thanks for rewarding my faith.
As for the actual issues...yes, I have tried the key in the door lock/unlock method, no luck. My poor, well-intentioned father said the same thing about the order of battery terminal removal not typically making a difference; perhaps I'm too focused on that being the cause. Either way, I've
When I get back to the car, first thing I'll do is pull out the seat / access the immobilizer to see if that fuse is blown. If it is, and anyone has knowledge/recommendations of the removal + fuse replacement process, I'm all ears!
piper6909, the tip about resetting the computer is helpful, thank you; I will give that a shot as well! Perhaps that's what happened in the first place, though, i.e. Dad's attempt to remove the negative terminal of the battery / flickering connection caused a computer reset to some degree.
Our main issue now, though, is getting the frunk open to even access the battery; apparently the levers for front and rear trunk won't budge (consequence of a blown immobilizer fuse?), so again, helpful hints are certainly welcome.
As for the "orange thing" I referenced before, I'm talking about the pop-out fuse box adapter that allows you to pass in 12V to pop the frunk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tZ1yUsdq7g
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Thanks again to everyone; wish I could buy you guys each a beer just for your time (especially you, ike84)! If you ever find yourselves in NYC or Iowa City, IA, shoot me a message!