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Old 08-19-2020, 04:48 AM   #40
Stroked & Blown
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: MA
Posts: 881
Missing Person Report: Husband to Police Officer



Husband: My wife is missing. She drove to the grocery story yesterday and has not come home.

Officer: Age?

Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don't do birthdays.

Officer: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

OFFICER : Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

OFFICER : Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

OFFICER : Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.

OFFICER : What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

OFFICER : What kind of vehicle?

Husband: She took my car.

OFFICER : What kind of car was it?

Husband : A 2017 Porsche 911 Turbo S Cabriolet, Carmine red, 580 horsepower, all-wheel drive, rear-wheel steering, Bose audio, HID headlights, active suspension management, sport exhaust, 20-inch wheels, torque-vectoring rear differential, navigation, rain-sensing wipers, Bluetooth, HomeLink, Apple Play integration, dual-zone climate control, cruise control, heated side mirrors, and keyless entry. I added special Pirelli P-Zero Corsa N0 tires. It has a custom carbon fiber spoiler and front wings, under-glow wheel well lighting ... At this point the husband started choking up.

OFFICER : Take it easy sir, we'll find your car.
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