[geraintthomas]

So here's how last night panned out.

Went to bed, didn't sleep as I'm suffering a bad throat since New Year (slightly overdid it), started to drift off to sleep at 3:50am.

4:00am. Woke up to the sound of the very, very loud alarm going off on the Boxster. In a very, very quiet cul-de-sac.

Panicked, realised it's because of a flat battery and ran around the house trying to find the trickle charger to wire it to the battery to give it charge and stop the alarm.

4:15am. Found the charger, tried to open the boot... wouldn't open. Battery is properly dead. I can't get to the battery to charge it and to stop the alarm going off.

Pulled the emergency bonnet fuse tab that has the copper contacts on to attach a charger to which sends power to the boot so that I can open it. Negative on the door latch for a ground, positive on the emergency pull tab. Didn't work, still no power.

4:30am. All the lights are now illuminated on the dash as if it's about to start, but the key isn't in. I decide to put the key into the ignition switch and leave it there. The car is trying to ram the spoiler shut even though it's shut.

Finally the alarm stops. Hopefully it's because it's recognised the key just in time before it went completely dead, which, it did. No lights, no nothing. Car is dead.

4:45am. Realised that there's an emergency pull cord in the drivers (UK) side wheel well. Realised that I need to take the wheel off, and I can't, because the locking wheel nut is in the boot.

More googling reveals that while the charger is connected to the emergency pull tab in the fuse box, you need to use the key fob to open the trunk, and not the switch by the seat. At this point I'm terrified of trying again in case I give the alarm some power and set it off all over again. Even more googling shows that a trickle charger may not work as, although it supplies 12v, it may not supply enough amps.

5:00am. Found out that the best option is to use another battery rather than a trickle charger as it'll supply enough amps. Great! I have a fiesta. I'll remove the battery and will use jump leads that are... umm... in the boot of the Porsche. Which I can't open.

At this point I realise that it's 5am, the car is still miraculously quiet, I can't sleep for fear that the alarm will go off again and decide to stay awake. Drove to work two hours later, and here I am, sleep deprived and p*ssed off.

Luckily my next door neighbour who I caught on the way to work mentioned that he may have a charger that has a cigarette adapter, which people online have said works in this scenario to give it enough power to pop the boot.

So there we are. Going to try that later, and if that fails I'll be jacking the car up, turning the wheel in as much as I can to pull the wheel lining away. Someone online mentioned that they managed to do it. Hoping that the cigarette lighter charge will do the job though.

Next job, re-route the emergency pull cord to the tow eye location. This could have been sorted in 10 minutes.

I'm tired.