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Old 08-14-2006, 10:37 AM   #19
Perfectlap
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 8,709
ah the shirtless debate...

Here in Nu Joy-z we have what some call (themselves even) "the guido"
I have many friends who call themselves "guidos". Some uptight folks have called me a guido simply for having a sports car.


The convertible owner+shirtless thing made me remember this posting on NJguido.com, the writer proposes a high ocuppancy vehicle lane just for jersey guidos.
(I'm not kidding this site is for real and was very popular with guido and non-guidos until myspcae arrived). They even featured it in the Washington Post.
I think it was the inspiration for the MTV True Life "I'm a jersey shore guy" episode.


"-- THE GUIDO EXPRESS LANE --
The proposed Guido Express Lane, or G.E.L., is structured identically to
the H.O.V. lanes introduced in the late 90's across much of NJ, NY and
PA.
The following requirements for access to the G.E.L. will apply to all
vehicle occupants:
Cut-off shirts or wife beaters must be worn at all times. If the vehicle
is a convertible, no shirts are allowed.
Capri pants must be worn. Addidas pants are acceptable only with
matching jackets and a Kangol hat.
All vehicle occupants must have identical haircuts - spiked all around
(including the back) or must have shaved heads. All sideburns must be
shaved to a point.
All body hair must be completely shaven.
All vehicles in the G.E.L. must be considered "exotic" or "luxury cars,"
but must be paid for by the driver's parents.
Vehicle must contain at least 13 pounds of fake silver bracelets and
necklaces.
Necklaces may only be loose enough to allow minimal breathing.
Should any member(s) of the vehicle fail to comply with any one of the
aforementioned requirements, said member(s) will receive a two-month
suspension from Joey's in Clifton and Tempts.
In addition to the obvious ecological benefits, the proposed G.E.L.
would also provide the following free of charge:
Upon entering the G.E.L., the vehicle's radio would automatically be
tuned to a satellite feed of "What is Love" by Haddaway or "Louder Than Love"
by TKA. (Driver preference)
The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000 series
tanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to ensure a perfect pre-beach/club
complexion." AJ Kowalski
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Last edited by Perfectlap; 08-14-2006 at 10:40 AM.
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