View Single Post
Old 05-12-2016, 11:14 AM   #348
njbray
Registered User
 
njbray's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: santa barbara, CA & Devon, UK
Posts: 316
Quote:
Originally Posted by Need_for_speed View Post
I'm kind of a private person, so I've been avoiding this thread, but....very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon. Luge lessons. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.

At the age of 58, I bought my first Boxster. And, well, here I am.

Oh my God! You must be my long lost older Brother! That is EXACTLY the same as my upbringing!

Soooo.... any idea what happened to Vilma?
njbray is offline   Reply With Quote