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My guess is that since you are getting some shaking of the steering wheel when you hit the bump, it's the tie rods or the ball joint on the control arm itself. The trailing arm will make the noise, but shouldn't cause the shaking that you described.
Jacking up the car and trying to wobble things around won't necessarily cause any noise or show play in the components, because you can't load the components as much as the weight of the car going over bumps can.
If it were me, I'd try the tie rod ends first, then the controls arms. My 2002 has 144,000 miles on it, and it clunks, squeaks, and bangs a lot (replacing the rear trailing arms helped quiet it down a lot; now you can have a conversation in the car without having to shout), but fortunately there is no shaking in the wheel. I'm going to replace all the suspension parts one of these weekends, which should take care of all the noises.
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