You know the old line:
"How do you get to Carnege Hall?"
"Practice, man. Practice!"
When I got my first stick shift car 30 years ago and was just terribe with it, someone sitting next to me instructing me just made me nervous and did me no good.
I finally took it out of town to hilly farm back road that almost never saw any traffic. I drove and stopped and parked and did 3-point turns back and forth up and down those hills for two hours.
After that it was practically second nature.
So basically, let the car instruct you. It knows what it likes and doesn't like and it will let you know it. All stick shifts are different, and you need to adjust to the needs of that particular car.
PS: agreed. Don't start in second especially on hill starts. Starting in second should only be done on slippery surfaces.