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CAA came back.
The guy managed to gracefully undo the first rivet. It wasn't enough to reach far enough. He had the tools to undo the wheel, but one of the nuts is a special locknut that will break if undone, so it will have to go to the garage any way to replace that nut.
As we speak, they're are two guys battling with the beast to get it on a flatbed tow truck. The steering wheel is locked and the wheels are to the side. Furthermore, the car is low, so with a lot of effort they're getting it on without damaging the bottom.
The specialized garage will do the tough job to reach the emergency release cable for the hatch.
Also their proper 12V DC booster wasn't able to pop the hood (probably because the car battery isn't dead yet).
Apart from that the towing is included in the CAA subscription, we'll see how much this joke will cost us at the garage.
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