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Old 05-11-2014, 10:51 PM   #1
Pdwight
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: North Alabama
Posts: 2,079
Boxster S one, two Deer Zero tonight

A strange turn of events on the way home from my Fiancé’s house tonight. I was about 10 miles from her house driving 55 on the country road under a cloudless full moon. I had just stopped and put the top up on my Boxster because I was wearing a thin T shirt and it was chilly…good thing I did. I saw 4 Deer run out in front of me about 500 feet ahead, I started braking to give them plenty of room. Then like a bad dream a flash of brown and white appeared in front of me not 100 feet…….Crap was all I could think at this point. I swerved left slightly while braking to avoid the two directly ahead, The Porsche responded like the thoroughbred it is and I had lots of room…more damn Deer right in front of me. At this point I was doing 35 mph and I stood on the brakes, the big Brembos bit hard and the deceleration pulled me forward in my seatbelt as it stretched hard across my chest. The antilock mechanism clicked strongly as I felt the spikes in the pedal and heard it audibly, I couldn’t help but think what incredible engineering this car had. Tachypsychia took over my mind and now things went in syrupy slow motion. I hit the Deer square mid-section; I saw its pitiful eyes as it started rolling over the hood on my side of the car. It seemed to not induce any shock or impact on the car, like it was Styrofoam and weighed nothing. It hit the top of the window and I saw it was a Buck as it rolled right over the top I had just put up not 5 minutes before. Then there was another Deer right there slightly to the left of the one now overhead, the finder bit hard into the Deer as I saw it cartwheel in the air like a whirling dervish and off the left. Then the car stopped. As I got out of the car I heard hoof noise all around me on the asphalt and then they were gone. Time took its normal course again as I heard the noises coming from the two Deer not 100 feet apart. The first deer could only move its head and neck, the second deer was trying to get up but the back legs did not work, both obviously had broken backs. I felt terrible and lucky I was without a scratch, I retrieved my legally licensed sidearm from my car. The full metal jacket projectile in each Deer’s head put them mercifully out of their misery quickly. So I turned to my damaged pride and joy Porsche, my “Midlife Crisis” as I referred to it often. A cracked headlight, a dented fender…that was it. I had always viewed the Boxster like a Falcon, graceful, quick…but not very sturdy; I was wrong the sports car was built like a Panzer Tank as it sat there purring like a kitten and not much worse for the incident. By now the two Deer were motionless, I nudged them with my foot and when satisfied they were long gone to Deer heaven I dragged the two off the road and got back in my car and drove home. I will contact my insurance agent tomorrow and see about getting my car repaired. I feel very lucky to be able to type this tonight and only have some dented sheet metal and broken headlight. I still feel terrible about the Deer, they were after all just doing what Deer do.
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