[Johnny Danger]

In my ongoing effort to bring justice to the world, I extend this crucial discovery to my fellow boxster owners. The theory behind the difference in speedometer settings between boxster models has nothing to do with any kind of performance difference. Rather, those numbers 150, 175 and the subtracted difference of 25, I'm alarmed to say, referred to a series of meridian coordinates that mark the location of the next secret meeting of the Bilderberg and Illuminati Groups. Moreover, all of the questionable "destination" charges that Porsche has been charging boxster owners over the years have gone toward the construction of clandestine complex to accommodate said meeting. In fact, Jesse Ventura, along with his team of covert operatives, are believed to have already infiltrated it. And, further intelligence suggests, that Chaz Bono will be the guest speaker to talk about global change. No foolish second shooter - grassy knoll theories here !