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As Renshou said, paint treatment is a process with multiple stages depending on your current paint condition.
Water sanding or wet sanding even with 2500 or 3000 grit is very abrasive and can cause permanent damage to your paint if not done right. This is normally the starting step for parts of the car with very bad paint damage.
Then you would step for a polish that would remove the scratches caused by the wet sanding process ( as well as other swirl mark on the car ). Then you would step up to a less aggressive finish polish or glaze.
After the polishing, your car should be looking beautiful already, and wax / sealant only protect the surface.
Clay bar is used to remove surface contaminants and should be done after washing your car before wax / sealant / polish to get rid of any larger dirt particle that can cause more scratches during these steps.
So I'm surprise each shop offered you only a one stage solution. I would suggest that you misunderstood. The watersand guy is probably saying .. hey your paint is bad enough where I have to start at wet sanding. The polish guy is probably saying .. nah .. those scratches are not that bad, I can polish them all out. And the claybar guy just wants to get paid to wash your car.
What I would do is find the worse ( deepest ) scratches on your car, and run your fingernails on it. If it catches, then you'd need wet sanding at least in that area ( assuming its didn't go all the way through paint and is still fixable by wet sanding ).
Good luck !
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