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The 914 probably had no suspension travel left. Things get bouncy when there's no suspension movement, big tire sidewall or not.
Going up 3-4% in sidewall height will probably have no discernible change in ride comfort or ultimate grip, but a tire with a softer sidewall will.
As mentioned above, you might try an all-season tire that's less geared towards performance.
I've found the Boxster has a excellent grip on the road, even under bumpy corners. The camber settings on the rear end of this car are pretty aggressive and contribute to really good adhesion under cornering, especially for a strut-suspended car. Mine has the factory sport suspension, so it would tend to be a little more bouncy than stock.
I don't think the 16" wheel will fit an S. It was never offered on the S or the Carrera with the same brakes. Unless someone has 1st hand experience, I wouldn't bother.
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