Youse guys in New York don't realize just how strong a 2x4 can be!
... as long as there's no wind, no one touching the car in any way, etc.
A friend of mine is in charge of the ER at a local hospital. She said they could close the whole thing down at 5 pm every evening if people would stop self-inflicting their injuries. She said they get self-crushed idiots, self-stabbed idiots, self-shot idiots, and my favorite story for her to tell, which is far more regular than anyone wants to think:
"I need some help. I have accidentally lodged a ______ in my _______."
The second fill in the blank is usually limited to one of five orifices plus the eye socket. She says that's sometimes shocking, but the first fill in the blank is always what produces a "Huh? Did I read that chart right or was that a typo?"