After 51,000 miles I've finally been vandalized, but the damage was minor and easy to fix.
I was parked in an asian shopping center called "Yes Plaza" in Rowland Heights (near LA). Came back to the car after eating to find that someone had dragged a chisel-tip black felt tip pen along the passenger side.
Whatever, I didn't think it was too big of a deal, I was just happy they hadn't used a key! I couldn't get it off with a towel or quick detailer, so I was just going to go home to San Diego and buff it out but the girlfriend had the bright idea of trying something else. We drove over to Staples and bought a bottle of whiteboard cleaner. It's primarily alcohol so I figured it wouldn't cause any problems.
The pen wiped right off. Needless to say I was stoked. Followed it up with a quick detailer wipe down and all is well in the world.
I kind of wanted to go buy a pen, write "HA! YOU THINK THIS BOTHERED ME!?" on the side of my car and go park it back in that same parking lot for the rest of the day, but I guess that'd be kind of gloating, eh?
Can't understand why some people do what they do. Oh well.