When I was three I pulled all of the knobs off of the interior of my fathers Mercedes 190 SL. It took them quite a while to figure out where they went and put them back on. I mark that moment as the first wrenching of my career.

I'd start with condoms...... always stop problems at the source.

Check out the new child tasers ... "don't tase me Dad!" :eek:

Check it out: http://www.gizmo-central.com/household-gizmos/garage/protect-your-exotic-cars-even-when-garaged/



:D Kinda OCD, but hey - cheaper than dealing with child services...

LOL..seriously if someone puts their car in a shower curtain or a inflatable bubble they have major OCD and control issues.

Next: giant hamster ball!

Get a little garage (shed) for their stuff and keep them out of daddy's garage.

Other solutions:

1) Rewire your battery tender for 240 volt
2) Surroud the car with bathtubs or beds. Many children hate bathtime and bedtime.
3) Hide lots of candy in the garage far away from the car
4) It's a little late now, but have you thought of a vasectomy?

Kids
 

Send them off until they can drive...

if ever a situation screamed for Duct Tape this is it.

if you shave the kids first, it's easier to remove later.

I need a brain - where do I find one? LOL

If you feed your children, they will be forever hungry. But, if you teach them to fish, they will feed themselves for a lifetime.

That is the only correct answer.

New thought
 

Divorce the wife...they always get the kids. Take the cars and live the life... :cheers:

tether the child safe distance from car.

I actually have a 100,000 volt fence around my house so I can offer some advise. When you buy the fence they are set to "pulse" on and off every 0.5 seconds or so. So if an intruder touches the fence it will not actually kill them since when the electricity pulses off they jump back. If the electricity was constant then there is a chance of them gripping the wire which might harm them. There is very low amperage as well so there really is little risk of death. Another nice thing about the fence is when the system detects a ground/short it sounds an alarm so you would know when someone got too close to the Porsche, and then could inflict secondary discipline measures. My system also sends an email to my BlackBerry when the alarm sounds which includes a photo of the area. This would allow you to make sure the proper intruder received the secondary punishment.

Cats can smell electricity (I am told) so they tend to avoid it which can help reduce paw prints. The installers told me that a dog might touch it "once". So, depending on how smart the children are, I image they would not touch it more than once either. However, considering that the children are not following verbal instructions a few shocks might be required in order to acquire proper respect for German products. The fence also makes a nice little snapping sound at times which tends to remind people not to touch it although my gardener has been shocked a couple of times.