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I have some of the same experiences as you. My trans shifts fine dead cold, and then is more finicky for about a 1/2 hour, then it shifts fine when fully warmed up ... this even with new (was new, anyway) Porsche transaxle fluid.
I do the following 2 things during that finicky half hour...
[1] I find it shifts better if I *just* hesitate going through neutral, rather than going too fast or trying to be too careful.
[2] I also find it shifts better if I lightly hold the lever to the left on a 1->2 shift, before I and as I pull the lever back. Going 2->3 I let it find the middle of the gate by itself, same for 3->4. Going 4->5 and 5->6 I hold slight pressure on the lever to the right as I initiate and complete the shift, to help it find the proper gate.
I find there is much less gnashing of the gears and my teeth when I do all of this.
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