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This one's easy to figure out. You drive it like you stole it and she drives it nice and easy because if anything happens to it you'll be really angry.
The increased oil pressure when you push it to 5k or higher vs. what you're wife does (probably shifting at 4k because that feels normal) is the culprit.
Idea: go out with your wife and let her drive, then drive just like her and voila! problem solved. Well, kinda.
Sometimes my pretzel logic is well past the point of no return.
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