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Holy IMS Prevention !
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For those who can't afford an IMS replacement, or even the Guardian for that matter, behold it's the IMS Indulgence! For just $14.29 ($17.49 if you're a Pentecostal or Adventist), the good folks at this roadside chapel will rebuke the IMS Demon with all manner of prayer in the most apostolic of fashion . Get that IMS Devil behind you !
* The fee also requires a small act of contrition. Unsure of what that involves at this time. |
Here in Miami, we Cubans rely on Santeria, a combination of ancient African religions and Catholicism to invoke the Gods protection of our precious IMSB. Its a little more complicated and does involve the ritual sacrifice of a dove but, hey, its a small price to pay for our motors.
St. Michael Protection Ritual - YouTube |
Gee, and I thought witnessing someone speaking in tongues was strange ! :)
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No stranger than the Catholic Church. If you are Catholic, you have to believe in ritual cannibalism, where the priest turns bread and wine into the actual body and blood of Christ which is then consumed by the communicant, its pretty messed up.
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I'm a born again agnostic !!
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Hope this helps Johnny.......doesn't say what the speed limit is but I would keep
it under 60 MPH to be polite. Fort Lauderdale church offers drive-thru prayers - Sun Sentinel ~ Nick |
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it seems we're still in stone age times here in the UK..
IMS prevention is taken care of by appeasing the ancient gods by deflowering a virgin on the altar stone at stonehenge.. as san rensho says it's a small price to pay for our motors. |
Not being completely agnostic but with the IMS Guardian installed I will have time to say my Hail Marys before I call the flatbed truck.
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Old Time Fashion Preaching Pt.1 - YouTube |
Isn't that St. Charles IMS church and discount house of oil? Presided over by the right Reb-rend, "Jake"?
With apologies to Don Imus. AKL:rolleyes: |
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