Accident This Morning!
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted , 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started ..... :) :D :) |
HAHAH, is this true?
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I hope its true.
:D |
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I am not sure, will have to check the rule book :D
Hey, watch your groin and knee caps. :D |
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Blkboxster, I dropped that little fuc*er like a 3-foot putt! :) |
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I Am Having a Very Tough Day!
After the accident, I went to the Social Security office
to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too' And then the fight started ..... :) :D :) |
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HAHAHA TOOOOO FUNNY |
Tried To Make-Up With The Wife!
When I got home tonight, my wife demanded that I
take her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started .... :) :cool: :D |
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And then the fight started |
You guys are just too funny.
Thanks for a great day. :D |
Wanna Popsicle?
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie' with their
8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: - 'There's a car being towed from the parking lot,' he shouted. - 'An ambulance just drove by!' - 'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out. - 'Matt's riding a new bike!' - 'Looks like the Sanders are moving!' - 'Jason is on his skate board!' - After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!' Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they are having sex?' 'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.' :) |
It's a Rodney Dangerfield kind of night...can't get any respect!
Probably not the first time that dwarf got rear-ended. |
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Bwahahahahaa, I am so going to use that one! Trust me the chance will arise. :cool: |
Okay, here ya go:
Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born |
Two guys are having a beer in a bar and one says to the other guy.
Everytime we go out for a beer my wife yells at me. When I get home I turn the car off on the driveway and let it coast. I enter the house w/o turning on any lights. I take my shoes off before getting in the house. I creep up the stairs and quietly slide into bed to which my wife wakes up and starts yelling at me. You've been out too long, and smell bad. The other guys says Wow you've got it bad. I come home and drive really fast up the driveway. Slam the car door. Turn on every light. Throw my shoes against the wall. Jump into the bed Slap my wife in the ass and say Let's have sex She never wakes up! |
LMAO .. omg .. u guys kill me ..
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haha, leave it to Bill to start some ******************** up LOL
freggin hilarious |
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