18s or 19s are really just a matter of personal preference. I've heard that the car handles best on 18s.
If you size your tires correctly, the 19s are no more prone to rubbing than any other size. When you push the tire size too much you start having difficulties with rubbing, as well as the feeling of sluggishness that Spyder describes. However, if you use the correct method of measurement to step up in rim size, the outside diameter of the wheel/tire combination doesn't change. The diameter of the wheel is larger, but the sidewall height of the tire is shorter. The net effect is no change in overall diameter.
There may be added weight when going with a larger wheel, but that really depends on your choice of wheel. If you choose a lightweight wheel over what you're running now, the weight of your new combination could actually be less than your current setup.
Will there be a difference in feel between the 17s and 19s? Yeah, I'm sure there will because you'll have a lot less sidewall to cushion your ride. I'm on 235 35 19s front and 275 30 19s rear and I find it completely acceptable in terms of ride comfort.
Lastly, if tire sizes are chosen correctly, lowering the car should make no difference in your choice of 18s or 19s. Again, the outside tire diameter will be the same. You'll just be sporting more rim and less tire.
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